Pagbabago
I was randomly browsing the net and found this post from Nuffnang. Pagbabago. It caught my attention. CHANGE. It always amazes me whenever I am privileged to hear stories of changed lives or witness those that are still on the making. Well aside from the fact that this word means a lot to me, I suddenly remembered those moments when my father and I used to eat @ Goldilocks Lemery. Pork BBQ, Laing and Egg Pie — favorites. The sliced breads(I really cant remember the flavors), polvorons and brownies — those we used to bring as baon in highschool. Crema de Fruta, Black Forest and pastas were never absent on Christmas parties! One thing that is really something with Goldilocks, I should say, is their Filipino traditional foods which I really am a fan of. They’ve got the FILIPINO TASTE.
Now going down to my version of change(actually there’s a lot that I could share in terms of CHANGE) but I guess I would have to share the one below:
Bam Bam Biram Bam, Bam Bam Birambam, Disturbia. Ayan daw ang ost ng Twilight. napaisip? Joke lang yan. Kantahin mo. Naalala ko lang yan. jinoke ko 1 time sa isa kong kaibigan.
Ilang beses ko na kase nilagay sa notepad ng utak ko na kelangan ko isulat ung personal testimony ko. So eto na nga. Dati kase may pag ka disturbia ako. Disturbed. Siguro I was searching for my purpose in life. Although I always excel in school, I get perfect scores, I get a lot of Extra curricular points in higschool, pero I was disturbed. Sometimes I cry in my room. Nag eemo. And when I entered college, my image started to change into an emo, well semi-emo, in terms of the music I hear, the clothes I wear, the words I use and the journals I write. I was always so emotional. I was too sensitive, I easily get hurt emotionally. I have a very high tolerance with physical pain, but I’m very weak inside.
I started to attend born again church in my first year high school. I remember the first few Sundays I attended in our local church, I was always bored, the preaching was so long I usually fall asleep. I wasn’t used in singing those songs I didn’t know with matching clapping and dancing.
Bata pa lang ako, nag kakainterest na ko magbasa ng Bible, may naririning na ko na challenge na matapos ung Bible ng book to book. Bata pa lang ako non. Pero palage pa rin akong ningas kugon. Hanggang umpisa lang. Moving on. So nung nagchuchurch na nga ako, eventually na-engage din ako sa church activities. Kumbaga nakasanayan ko na na dun aatend ng Sunday service. Palage nag iinvite ung mga leaders ng Youth samen. Umaatend naman ako paminsan minsan. Naalala ko nag tambourine pa nga ako nung anniversary. haha.
Imagine if government leaders and officials are Christians.
And I could probably associate the mindset that I have in accepting leadership positions ever since highschool because of how I have imbibed in my mind ung teaching na, “Imagine if government leaders and officials are Christians.” Specially on the agencies of the governement were corruption is very chronic. Naisip ko pa before na maybe paglaki ko tatakbo ako as Mayor or Governor. Naisip ko pa nga maging Presidente ng Pilipinas. Pati ung teaching nung isang speaker noon sa 1st Region IV Regional Summit na pinayagan kame ng parents namen na sumama kase sa Lemery lang sya ginanap(katabing bayan lang). Di ko talaga nakalimutan ever since ung line na “Make a Difference.”
Pero nung nagcollege, bihira na ko nakakauwe ng Batangas. At mas bihira pa sa pag-uwe ko ang pagpunta sa church. In short, wala kame inaatendan kapag Sunday. Yung mga bilang na bilang na pag atend ko ng service nung first year to second year ko, palage ako umiiyak sa church. Syempre sa sarili ko lang. Possibly namimiss ko ung church, but more importantly, I’m losing my communication with my Master. Yun na nga ung time na nagiging emo na ko. And then dumating si Dom, ung kapatid ko. Nung nagfirst year college sya, super narevive kame.
To cut the story short, we all had new beginnings. Fresh new start. Para akong naborn again ulet! I was so hungy for spiritual food. Ilang years ako nagstarve. And I met a lot of young people who have a passion for Christ. And the change in our lives started to transpire. Once you accept Christ in your life, you are a new creation. And you don’t have to change your life, your life eventually walks its way based on what’s on your heart.
And here I am. Although still not perfect and never will be.. but God changed many aspects of my life, I’m not anymore living a melancholic life on the other side and achieving all these successes to satisfy myself on the other but I’m giving my best in everything I do to glorify Him. Here, I have decided to offer my life to Him.
There are times when we are badly wanting for circumstances to change but they don’t. Maybe it is us who should be in the process of changing — for the better. Whether you plan it or it just come, changes are inevitable, just like this big change in my life and with Goldilocks.
