— Colors and Spices

Nakakatuwa makakita ng mga taong kita mo na mahal nila yung trabaho nila.

Kunyari, mga Doktor na very enthusiastic makinig at magdiscuss ng mga mahahalagang bagay na dapat malaman ng mga pasyente nila(parang doctor ng father ko na namee ko kanina, tapos narealize ko ‘to, tapos ninote sa SpringPad ko).

O kahit yung mga cashier sa mga convenience store, yung para bang hindi sila pagod at todo smile pa rin sa customer?(parang yung cashier sa MiniStop MMC branch na nakita ko kanina)

Yung mapapansin mo sa outlook nila sa buhay, o kaya sa simpleng paraan ng pagsasalita, pag-ngiti sa customer at kung anu-ano pa.

Parang isang beses, yung doktor na pinapakonsultahan ko nung umabot na ng tatlong linggo e inuubo pa rin ako — matagal pa ata yung pag-antay ko sa pag eksamin sakin. Kanina nag-pacheck up ulit ako(pero ibang doktor naman). Umabot ng limang oras ung pag-aantay para sa wala pang 15 minutes na consultation? Hmmm. Buti nakapag pigil ako, kasi muntik na naman ako umiyak sa pagkabadtrip :S. At ang sakit na ng ulo ko nun! Muntik pa tuloy ako mapa-Sick Leave ng wala sa oras. Buti na lang nirecommend ako for further lab exams. Kesa naman dun nga sa huling doktor na napuntahan ko na niresetahan lang ako ng Bioflu at Robitusin. Tsssk! Sana sa pharmacy na lang ako nagtanong ng gamot no! Buti na lang, worth in naman ang paghihintay.

Tapos ayun, yung feeling na ayaw mong pumunta ng hospital para magpacheck up. Pero dapat magtyaga. At maging maagap. Kasabihan nga, An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure‘. Actually, parang mas maganda nga kung An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure‘.

Other Thoughts: Habang nasa hospital, ang dami tao. Iba’t ibang klase ng tao. Naisip ko ang ung linya na naghihiwalay sa mayayaman at mahihirap. Kalungkot. Naisip ko rin, sa isang mundo na puro mga doktor, pano ka kaya mag-iistand out. May career level din ba sila na parang sa IT? — >super random.

Alam mo yung gusto mo na matulog pero di ka inaantok.
Alam mo yung hirap ka matulog, hirap ka din magising.
Alam mo yung tapos na yung mga kanta sa playlist mo na pampatulog pero gising pa rin yung utak mo at di makatulog.
Alam mo yung tutulog ka na lang, tas dun sasagi yung mga inspirations mong magsulat.

Nagpi-pray na kasi ako. Nagpapasalamat kay Lord sa lahat ng mga blessings.
Tapos naalala ko yung mga dapat gawin sa office –  meeting agenda, tickets, mga tao, etc (side effect ng work)
At syempre, hindi ko rin maiwasan ievaluate yung sarili ko. Kung iisipin, nasa mindset lang talaga ng tao kung pano nya ittreat ang mga nangyayari sa kanya personally.
Parang yung biglang promotion. Bibigyan ka ng challenging tasks.
Gusto ko na ayaw. But in the end of the day, what happens is I just go with the flow.
Gusto ko to – nilagay ko kaya to sa cdp ko!
Kaso it was too soon. Ang ayaw ko kasi ung na-u-underwork ako para sa position na binigay sakin?? Yung hindi ko nagagawa ang mga expectations sakin. Buti na lang at least – SE pa lang ako. At least i have a last resort to use as my defense mechanism.
Siguro ayaw ko lang din na masyado pinupuri? Kasi nga feling ko i underwork para sa ganung position. Haay. Mejo complicated – or ako lang nagpapacomplicate?
Even the people around me. Always feel awkward. I never initiate greeting. Nakadikit pa rin sa katawan ko ang pagiging anti social snob ko? Id be very friendly kung babatin mo ko, pero yung ako ang unang babati! Still working on it.
Mixed emotions. Mixed feelings.
And the art of saying no! Kelan kaya kita mamamaster? Why cant i just say no on things? Siguro kasi madalas half hearted ako?! Naman!

So ayun nga. Medyo madaming nagyayari sa buhay ko. Ang dami ko gusto gawin – spend more time with my family, start new endeavors – kaso naman! Ang sabado ko ay nauuwi sa tulog at gala. I need a guide. A pusher. A mentor. A confidante. Baka magising na lang ako na 25 na ako at hindi ko pa rin nagagaaa ang mga gusto kong gawin. Ang mga dapat gawin.

I appreciate this life – a colorful life. But, as they say, the great challenge of life is to decide what’s important… and to disregard everything else.

Kaya ang hirap matulog – ganyan kadami pa yung naaisip kapag nakapikit na ang mata mo.

What I like about New Year is that it gives people the feeling of a fresh new start. Another chance to set new goals and achieve them. So for my FAITH Goals.

• Treat my parents and sibs to a trip.
• Active Small Group.
• My group of 12.
• Promotion.
• Online Outreach Project | Project Nada.

I got home early today because my cabmate is going home to Samar this 4:00AM morning. And since my bed doesn’t call me yet for sleep, I think I’ll be starting this 100 things that happened to me this year…

Papaabutin ko sana January 14 ito. Para sana saktong anim na buwan. 6 months? 6 months na pala yun. O hindi ba dapat, 6 months na pala yun!

Sobrang dami lang nangyayari. Eh sa kagolfishan ko, for sure, hindi ko maaalala lahat. Ang tanong, kelangan ba maalala lahat?

Decisions. Consequences. Current situations. Gustuhin ko man huminigi ng counsel ngayon, parang maguguluhan at maiinis lang sya sakin kasi for sure magiging malabo akong kausap.

Buti na lang nakaget over na ko sa Student turned Employee este Professional ko.

Yun lang. Naiisip ko talaga, para bang nagiging ibang tao na ko. LOL. Some aspects for the better, but some things for the worse.

Halo Halo. Akalain mo yun? Work pa lang, super pre-occupied na utak ko.

Hayy Accenture. I always think of you. 1 moment I’m engaged and inspired. 1 moment I’m not. And it runs a full cycle, eh? Have actually run several cycles already!

And maybe if I could blog them all. I’ll be ok. Because on times like these, I could just read them.. and make myself feel better.

P.S. I really need a new layout and design.

Finally, I had my two lower wisdom teeth extracted.

Yesterday at the clinic:
Doctor: Anung papacheck mo?
Me: Ah, yung impacted tooth ko pa, naadvise po before na pabunot.. ipapacheck ko po sana kase sumasakit po sya from time to time.
Doctor: Kelan sya huling sumakit?
Me: Last week po.
Doctor checking…
Doctor: This should be treated as an emergency case.
Me: ooh o-k.

I was supposed to have the operation immediately yesterday(Thursday). It’s just that of so many days, I had the most unusual stomach pain of all time. Sabi ba naman ng dentist, “Baka naman stressed ka?” Hindi ko nasagot, “Eh, bakitngayun lang po sumakit yung tyan ko?” Instead, I told the dentist that i’ll come back the next day at pakikiramdaman ko muna yung tyan ko.

I thought I was gonna be fearless but just before the operation, nag chichill yung katawan ko! Kinakabahan? As I said before, I have a very large tolerance with physical pain but today.. I was wrong. Umiiyak ako nung tinatanggal na yung lower right impacted…to the extent na pinapakalma na ako nung dentist. Although may anesthesia pero I felt force and pressure against my jaw na masakit na pinaiyak ako. Siguro naiyak ako kase nararamdaman ko yung pressure at kung partida na may anesthesia, pano pa kaya kung mawawala na yung epekto nya. The operation almost took an hour and my dentist told me to take easy on my food and brushing as I had many stitches.

My jaw and mouth still both numb 3 hours after the operation. I still can’t control my lower lip that that I seem like a kid who do not know how to drink. The numbness feel awkward that I feel my lips are fuller than ever.

It would definitely much comfortable now that both wisdom teeth are gone. Thank you Daddy for taking charge with my a-month-worth-salary bill. I hope to repay you soon!

I just hope when the effect of the anesthesia is gone, the pain will be bearable!